在Uber两极分化的世界中跨越鸿沟

I’m scared, and I know a lot of other people are, too.我之所以害怕，是因为两极分化和分裂似乎在全世界都以惊人的速度加速。Edelman集团已经衡量了数十年的信任，报告了2017年全球信任的内爆。I can definitely feel it. In the United States, the 2016 election divided families and friends like never before, and brought political and racial division to frightening new highs. And as fear and anxiety rises, people retreat further into groups of like-minded people, which only serves to fuel the division. The other day I overheard a woman on the street say, “I saw his Trump shirt, and I literally crossed the street.” And that’s the uber polarized world we live in – not even wanting to walk past people from the other side. Since I live in a liberal area but my family lives in a more conservative part, I find this trend – toward not seeing the humanity in each other – to be really disturbing.

So what’s the key to getting out of our comfort zones and start reaching across this divide?

EQ的实践者迈克尔·伊特曼（Michael Eatman）积极努力建造这些桥梁 - 他在最近的坐下时与雷切尔·古德曼（Rachel Goodman）分享的他所学的教训是简单，困难和变革性的部分。根据伊特曼的说法，这是从我们每个人采取两项行动开始的。

How to Start Reaching Across the Divide

伊特曼（Eatman）最近参加了多元化培训师和纪录片制片人李·芒瓦（Lee Mun Wah）的培训。瓦（Wah）的名言之一确实吸引了他：“我一直对种族主义和偏见的这种对话感到害怕。但是我更害怕不是参与。”尽管有时这是令人生畏的工作，但伊特曼说，解决这些敏感话题的好处远远超过了成本，人类的生存可能只是取决于我们克服差异的能力。那么，我们如何开始跨越鸿沟呢？

据伊蒂曼说到达鸿沟始于engaging emotionsandconnecting with one person at a time.

无论好坏...

Without a doubt, race and politics are emotionally charged topics. And those emotions can sow more seeds of division – or help us build bridges. The difference, according to Eatman, is practicing emotional intelligence.

Practicing EQ isa multistep processof recognizing and responding appropriately to your own and others’ emotions. It starts with embracing emotions as a strategic resource, instead of treating them as something that should be ignored or suppressed. Eatman recommends starting with your own emotions:“Acknowledge how you’re feeling. Dig into: ‘If I don’t like someone because of their political affiliation, what is that about? Is it about my insecurity or their humanity?” Oftentimes we feel angry, scared, or disgusted by others’ beliefs, and our tendency is to shy away from those strong, challenging emotions. We make jokes. We cross the street. We identify ourselves as part of one group, and not another.But EQ is all about learning to harness those emotions as a strategic resource.

例如，愤怒将我们的注意力集中在我们想要改变的事情上，并激励我们战斗或克服障碍。EQ是否能够承认这种愤怒是一种有效的感觉，同时也说：“我最终真正想要什么？我有什么选择？”然后，您可以从愤怒中利用这种能量，使您更接近您真正想要的东西，在这种情况下，这意味着使用它开始跨越整个鸿沟。

有时，跨越鸿沟不仅要回到您真正想要的东西，还要问您的政治对手在生活中真正想要什么。“我的一位同事有一个母亲，他很保守，而她却不是。”伊特曼说。“She says, ‘I can’t believe my mom is on a high horse of ‘Go President Trump!’ I said to her, ‘Even if you don’t support the president, the question is, how can you have a conversation about what really matters?’ That ability to dig deeper is central to reaching across the divide. The more we are willing to talk about what really matters, and the emotional drivers for each party, the quicker we realize that we have more in common than we think.

“When we’re dealing with the high tide of political differences, it’s about relating to others from a place of humanity,” says Eatman.

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Holding emotional space

作为一个主要是白人社区的黑人，迈克尔·伊特曼（Michael Eatman）发现种族难以忽视的问题。他必须克服的一种刻板印象是愤怒的黑人。He recalls a colleague who asked him if he ever got angry. “As a man of color, often times I learned to button things up nice and quick. So I said, ‘I don’t really get angry.’ Which is not really true. I’m a human being. I took a couple of weeks to think about it. Then I realized I do get angry!Because of the situations people of color find themselves in, I could be angry all the time. The thing is, I need you to give me the space to be angry. So that when I do get angry, you don’t say, ‘There is a black person that is getting angry.’ It’s a reciprocal trust relationship situation in which you can handle my anger and then I can also be who I am.”

这个占有情感空间的概念在跨越鸿沟的艰巨工作中至关重要。有时会感到不舒服。双方都将出现他们需要以无威胁的方式分享的情绪。您可以做到这一点的唯一方法是通过信任和诚实的混合。

Michael doesn’t shy away from the fact that talking about race and politics may lead to offense, but he feels in control of his reaction: “Six Seconds’ philosophy is really powerful for allowing you to say, ‘What’s the potential that’s within me to make a choice?” For example, “if someone is saying something to me in an offensive way,I can communicate with them, that, as a black man, that’s really offensive, and because I treasure our relationship, I really want to make sure you understand what’s happening to me.”

到达鸿沟……一次一个人

与每个人建立联系，无论是一个陌生人还是有不同观点的朋友，都可以建立信任和社区。迈克尔说，即使感到不舒服，钥匙也正在伸出援手：“我们必须一次建立人际关系；看看我们可以与谁联系。然后我们连接到几个。这是在积极的行动和希望中动员个人。”

这是一个正在走路的人，在很大程度上是因为他努力成为社区建筑的孩子们的一个榜样。最近，他和家人一起吃饭，看到一位年轻的西班牙裔女人，有标志，要求钱。“我看到她，我对自己说，‘其他人会帮助她。’我们去吃东西，一个小时后她仍然在那里。我很好奇。我问她她在做什么。她说，她需要100美元才能租一辆汽车，以便她可以参加驾驶测试。我给了她几美元。I asked myself, ‘Do I want to engage?’ I could have felt fine about giving her money and said, ‘See you later.’ Instead I said, ‘If you can’t raise this $100, text me, and I’ll see what I can do.’

A week later she called me and asked if I still wanted to help her. I had to ask myself if I wanted to go beyond the moment. I said, ‘Okay, I’ll help you.’ We met at the D.M.V. She got in my car to take her test, a perfect stranger. I was afraid she might destroy my car. But she passed the test! Her name was Athena. She started crying. She called her cousin, she says, ‘We did it!’ She hugged me twice and then she left. I thought, ‘What a way to be able to trust in humanity!’ I had to really use consequential thinking. If a person needs help, I need to get the best information I can to make this a better community.”

One person at a time, we start reaching across the divide and building bridges.