生命成功的第一秘密

My best friend Ben used to tell me in high school that my guardian angel was “overworked and underpaid.” He wasn’t the only person who thought that I had spectacular luck; that great situations seemed to fall into my lap – and still do. In fact, another friend just the other day was lovingly mocking me when I told him about the house I am renting for way below market value in the absurdly expensive Bay Area.

尽管运气可能会发挥作用，但它确实取决于一个更简单，更适用的人生成功秘诀：

您可以创造可能性通过超越您认为可用的东西，创建更多连接by focusing on what you can offer.

让我们来谈谈这个秘密生活成功的具体例子。当我第一次搬到湾区时，我不知道一个灵魂，不得不找到住房（比我预期的要困难得多）和足够的钱来支付住房（同样困难）。我在两个世界之间交替了：一个世界上无畏地追逐梦想的世界，而我绝望地滚动了租赁网站并申请了一个我可以说服自己听起来很合理的地方。一方面无所畏惧地与志趣相投的人伸出援手，以及等待“好的”出现在Craigslist上。

当我梦到时，我联系人们说：“我也对x, can I help in any way?” I told people, “Ideally I want to live somewhere rustic in a beautiful setting, because of this experience I had…”And time after time, I found options that didn’t exist before, which led to me crafting a beautiful, unique life. A perfect life, for me.

Craigslist and other sites were certainly helpful as a starting point. But both my work and my housing came from me looking beyond what was available, and looking beyond what I wanted to get. I started focusing on what I could offer, what I通缉提供。它打开了似乎关闭的门，或者至少没有在那些无尽的滚动广告上。

在我对为什么它如此奏效的智力理解之前，我一直拥护这个对人生成功的秘诀。现在，我看到力量来自于乐观 - 事实证明，它已经进行了很好的研究，并与几乎幽默的积极成果清单相关。

Why this secret to life success works

乔什·弗里德曼（Josh Freedman）对乐观的定义是我的最爱之一：

当我第一次听到对乐观的定义时，Six Seconds’ EQ Practitioner coursein Menlo Park, California, it was a real ‘aha’ moment.这就是生命成功的秘诀的真正作用：当您超越自己的想法并寻找可以给予的东西时，就会培养一种可能性和开放性的心态。

When I felt like my only option for finding a job was to spend endless hours on Craigslist or Monster, I felt trapped, like I could see all my options and I wasn’t very enthused by them. But I when I decided to really put myself out there and offer to help, I felt liberated and a world of possibilities opened up that didn’t seem to be there before.

我想和孩子们一起工作，所以我向一个名为Luma Yoga＆Family Center的新业务发送了一条消息。我告诉他们我对正念充满热情，社交情感学习, and supporting new families, and that I was new in town and had time to help out. I came as a volunteer the 1st week, and they offered me a job the next week. I worked there, and loved it, for years.

我想了解有关当地食品系统的更多信息，因此我向一群当地的有机农场发送了一条消息，这些农场提供了一份伸出援手。当他们没有回应时，我去了农场摊位与某人握手。在埃弗里特（Everett）家庭农场，我遇到了一位农场经理，后者已经离开了很多年，更重要的是，自从我搬到这里以来，我最好的朋友之一。

Neither place was hiring when they hired me. I went after what I wanted, even though it didn’t seem available, and it turned out it was available. And the more I have practiced this and seen things work out better than I could have hoped, the more I adopt this general mindset of possibility and lose my fear of offering to help in a way that hasn’t been specified.

It’s been incredibly effective for me in crafting positive outcomes, and it turns out, I am not alone.

The secret to life success… and a longer life

写这样的列表几乎很有趣，但是optimism has been linked to better overall health, longer lives, improved immune function, less hypertension and heart disease, lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol, lower susceptibility to viral infections, lower rates of rehospitalization after surgery, and even, better luck.这是生活成功的秘诀，也可以延长您的生活！人们对乐观的好处（包括纵向研究）有很多研究，因此很难夸大其词。

因此，乐观是固定的，例如您的眼睛的颜色，还是我们可以训练自己更加乐观？一个简单的答案是，我们可以训练自己更加乐观。它可以学习，实践和改进，并了解为什么，让我们看一下通常衡量的两种不同类型的乐观主义。

乐观的两个主要系统被称为性格乐观和解释风格。倾向的乐观情绪普遍对将来会发生的事情产生积极的期望。Explanatory style is how you respond to good or bad news: whether you think it’s permanent, pervasive and how much power you have. And actually, both are necessary for adopting this mindset of openness and possibility. To put yourself out there at all, of course, it helps to have a generally positive expectation of what will happen. But also, when you ask for things that you aren’t even sure are possible, rejection is inevitably a part of it. And how you respond is so important. Think about these two responses and the different path they put you on.

I found this organization that shares so many of my values, and I drop off a resumé. I stop by a couple days later to check on it, and… they tell me they aren’t currently hiring. When in pessimism, we may think, “I will never get a job I love,” “It’s affecting my entire life,” and “There’s nothing else I can do. Oh well.” A person in optimism, on the other hand, might think, “It’s frustrating to not have a job yet, but I have many blessings in life and this won’t last forever,” and, furthermore, realize they have power: “I can ask them if they need any extra volunteer help, even once a week. And if not, I will keep trying with other orgs.” One is a brick wall; the other, a door.知道即使您看不到它们也有可能。这种无所畏惧的产品通常会导致选择的真正扩展。

相似地，看看这些在手术前如何发展出更乐观的心态。Cultivating optimistic thought patterns is really amazing. And what’s even more amazing, as discussed above, is that your pre surgery optimism may even lead to a better recovery.

通过单击下面的按钮，您可以得到free slidesthat give you practical tools for improving your ability to practice these two types of optimism – or for teaching others how to tap into the power of optimism.

如何培养乐观和整体情商

现金网赌钱网站六秒钟将乐观主义定义为“对希望和可能性的主动观点”。

越来越多的研究表明，乐观是您可以学习和改进的东西。我认为很多年是固定的特征。您很乐观或悲观。但这绝对是一项可学习的技能 - 六秒钟的目标之一就是在此过程中帮助人们。现金网赌钱网站

首先，让我告诉您大约六秒钟及其目的。现金网赌钱网站它是一个非营利组织，致力于帮助人们发展情绪智力的技能，例如提高自我意识，锻炼乐观和寻找目标。总之，这些东西称为您的等式。就像智商是对您的认知智力的衡量一样，EQ可以衡量您的情绪智力，您如何能够识别和回应自己和他人的情绪。我们大多数人在学校练习了很多智商，学习了如何解决数学问题或记住地图。这可能就是为什么自1930年代以来平均智商显着增加的原因。但是学习工具以乐观的方式克服逆境？尽管可以说更重要，但这在传统教育中常常被忽略。

Six Seconds’ goal is to take the emerging science of emotional intelligence and help people put it into action. So we write articles like these and offer free resources like these optimism slides with speaker notes. Whether you’re a coach working with clients, leader in a company, or a practitioner for yourself and your family, having the tools to practice optimism is essential.

总结这一秘密人生成功的秘诀：

而不是专注于您想要的东西，而是专注于您想要提供的产品。与其看到很少的选择，不如知道有很多可能性。在一起，这些构成了秘密：成为可能性制造者。