Happy Valentine’s Day!

保持恋爱并不总是彩虹。有时最浪漫的时刻看起来像这样：

“我能告诉你一些事情，要求你不要尝试修复它吗？”我坐在摩洛哥的一个阳光般的咖啡馆时问。“是的，”他说。

“I’m feeling really depressed right now.”

而且，尽管一百万个基于解决方案的想法在他的脑海中旋转，但他保持沉默并听着。

这是一个同情的故事，是您可以赠送给任何人的最大礼物。

Illuminate: The Best Valentine’s Gift? A Big Box of EMPATHY

Empathy，，，，one of Six Secondseight competenciesfor growing emotional intelligence, is the gift of meeting a person exactly where they are. Instead of telling them they’re fine, talking about your own related stories, or shutting them down, you just在那里。并保持安静。并听。

当别人与您分享自己的感受时，您会以同理心回应吗？在我之前告诉你的故事中，我的伴侣迈克尔（Michael）通过聆听而无需修复来给我这份礼物。而且非常有帮助。

告诉他我感到沮丧，我开始感到更加接受我的感受。我仍然感到沮丧和悲伤，但是在我的情绪上说单词 +通过大声说出来的情绪来释放这些单词。讽刺地，naming an emotion actually lessens its intensity，，，，which put me, instead of the depression, in the position of power.

迈克尔同情地倾听，与我同在，而无需“解决”我，所有这些情绪都被接受和安全。

你给别人有同理心的礼物吗？

This week, I invite you to do an experiment ofGIVING移情的礼物。

REFRESH + RENEWEVERY MONDAY WITH ILLUMINATE IN YOUR INBOX!

利用体内的体验。想象自己的同理心经历在您的身体中感觉如何？您的心跳还是呼吸不同？您在其他任何地方都感到不同吗？

If simply imagining the experience is difficult for you,what could motivate you to try it in real life?What deeper goal does practicing empathy serve?

Do you generally给予更多同理心还是得到更多的同理心？How might your life look differently if you changed this ratio even 10% to the opposite side?

PS—您知道对我来说最困难的同理心是什么？SELF-EMPATHY。2月25日的虚拟完美主义者的研讨会，我们将讨论研究支持的工具（我亲自测试过！），以增加自我同情。我希望你能join us呢

See you next week!

Illuminate is a weekly e-mail series that provides practical tips + galvanizing inspirations for practicing an emotionally intelligent life. In our time together, we’ll operate from the assumption thatyou have all the wisdom you need inside of yourself + that you have a purpose the world needs to see.We will explore the tools + techniques to illuminate your own inner wisdom and purpose. If you’d like to receive this free gift of goodness in your inbox every week, subscribehere。