用情绪智力欺负孩子的欺负

十月在美国国家反欺凌月份是否能够帮助我们指导我们的孩子富有同情心并在家中和学校对抗欺凌行为？

作为一年级的一年级学生，我有点胖，不是矮胖，但肯定会稍微圆润。我父亲总是称我为健康。但是，一年级的学生扭曲了我的名字 - Anabel-围绕着我，叫我腹部安妮。我承认我不喜欢它。

这是什么意思吗？是的。

有必要吗？不。

重要吗？不。

这是欺凌吗？不，我不这么认为。

I think it is important to recognize that an accurate definition of bullying implies two essential ingredients: one of them is a real or perceived imbalance of power; the second one is a repetition of the event. Certainly, the incident happened more than once. However, we were all first graders; no one had any more power than any other did. If, on the other hand, a fifth grader had taken to using the name, then I would identify this as bullying from her. She was bigger and older. The power imbalance can be social or emotional, someone who is louder, meaner, or who can marshal other kids to join them.

In reviewing the recent literature on bullying, I was fascinated to see in Julie Lythicott-Haims new book,How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success，她提到欺凌统计数据并没有上升，但仍然保持不变。她认为，已经升起的是父母对认为不当行为的敏感性，他们将其解释为欺凌行为。

What is Bullying? And What Isn’t?

并非所有的对抗行为都可以或应该定义为欺凌行为。Kids are active and impulsive, and they are going to have spontaneous scuffles, friendship spats, and wrestling matches that occasionally get out of hand. Everyday play-related conflict can make kids stronger because they learn through experience how to compromise, negotiate, and forgive. Sometimes it appears that this element is disappearing.

Interestingly, the research literature does report an increase in bullying in the transition period before high school. I wonder if there is also an increase in the transition period from preschools to the more restrictive atmospheres of many current kindergartens? I would love to see some research here.

尽管欺凌没有一个特定的目标，但统计和研究突出了某些比其他人更容易被欺负的群体。那些是：

1- People with weight problems

2-残疾人

3-属于种族或宗教少数群体的人

4- LGBTQ或被视为LGBTQ的人。

不要成为被动的旁观者

然后，这是一项大多数人在所有年级级别上教授的技能。孩子们需要技能来介入，找老师，吸引另一个朋友（并超过欺负者），以防止打击和打击。对于小孩来说，可以在各种情况下进行视觉证明，以便他们了解如何提供帮助。从本质上讲，它们是第一响应者。我希望孩子们了解成为第一响应者的价值和重要性。

Replace Bullying with Kindness

In addition, of course, anti-bullying programs should not exist for just one week or one month; instead, there must be consistent and on-going reminders of the importance of kindness.

实际上，一些数据表明，善良运动可能比零容忍政策规则更大，使某些学校的欺凌行为减少多达40％。采取积极的方法（请这样做）似乎比负面的（不要这样做）更有效。

因此，开始 - 老师必须保持警惕。If the school does not have a positive kindness campaign in the offing, start one in your classroom. It will spread.

Keep an eye always on the subtle behaviors you may miss- 在走廊上，在休息时间，在午休时间，然后利用见证的时刻来教授和赞美适当的行为。

而且，解决方案应该专注于肇事者和受害者。例如，煽动者应学习控制愤怒的策略，而不是责怪他人的问题。另一方面，受害者需要采取干预措施，以自我效能而不是责备。而且，旁观者需要了解，目击事件不是中立的反应，他们需要积极反对欺凌行为。

It would appear that taking a page from the research of Durlack and Weissberg is appropriate here. Schools can begin a formalized social and emotional learning (SEL) program—one that teaches a new lesson every week, and that is also woven into the curriculum of the students.

单击此处以获取六秒钟的SEL资源，以帮助您入门。现金网赌钱网站

请注意，老师，管理人员，父母和员工需要研讨会和研讨会来学习欺骗行动的技能。对这些计划的研究表明，反社会行动的一致性以及成就增加。这些计划中的内置应该强调对我们世界上的多样性产生欣赏，以减少对不同的人的判断力。对我来说，这些差异会创造美丽。

使用情商减少欺凌的关键技巧

In summary, here are some specifics to practice—for all who care for children:

• 在过渡之前，提醒学生友善。一些提醒人们，同理心对建立友谊的重要性有多么重要，并可能会挤压不敏感的滑稽动作。

• 与学生讨论欺凌行为会带来什么后果。提醒他们最大的后果将不是朋友 - 没有人要求来您家玩日期。

• 告诉学生说对不起不是后果。相反，让学生正确。毫无损失，煽动者必须执行规定的数量类似行为，并确保跟进该行为的执行。

• 赞美在教室和操场上看到的所有努力。要具体说明：“我喜欢您邀请新人玩的方式。我喜欢你轮流使用跳绳。”

My wish for the future coincides with the words of Lao Tzu,“善良的言语会产生信心。思维的善良创造了深刻的。给予创造爱的仁慈。”